Week 3 Story: The Husband was Right All Along
(Psyche and Her Sisters by Fragonard
The Husband was Right All Along
Psyche's husband foresaw the sisters' plan to get Psyche. He readily came to Psyche to warn her.
"My love, please listen to me. Danger is coming your way and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Your wretched sisters are plotting against you and are even considering murdering you. They want to expose me to you. But if you do, you will never see me again. Do not listen to them for your sake and our unborn child. You know that I love you. Do not reply to them and keep my identity a secret. If you do not, our child will be a mere mortal instead of a divine child."
She was excited by the news of having a divine child! Having gone through hardships, sorrow, and pain, she felt relived that something good will come her way.
However, her sisters were still to be reckoned with. They were poisonous and determined on ruining Psyche's life. The sisters would twist their words to make Psyche curious about her husband's appearance. Her husband came again to warm her. "The day will come and is nearing closer. Watch out for them. Your treacherous sisters will come to destroy your life. Put the needs of your new family first. Even though they may be blood related, they do not act like your sisters. Please be careful of their deadly comments."
Upon hearing this, Psyche became upset. She cried and longed for her sisters. "Dear love, you know loyal I am too. Please order Zephyr to bring me my sisters one last time. I wish for our child to be divine and have your personality and looks. I beg you, please do me this favor. If it may be the last time, I solely wish to embrace my older sisters. From this point on, I will no longer question your appearance for you have given far too much."
Her husband, under the influence of her words, pondered about granting her wish. However, he suddenly made a decision. He did not grant Psyche her wish. Psyche surprised by her husband's answer, was ready to convince him otherwise.
Author's Note: In this week's story, I focused on the ending and Psyche's character. The majority of the story is a basic retelling, however, there is a shift at the end. Originally, Psyche's husband allows her to see her sisters one last time. I changed the husband's final answer. Her husband denied her the wish. From there I wanted to develop Psyche's character. Psyche's character is portrayed as obedient, loyal, curious, and dedicated. I wanted to make her outspoken. So, at the end, I included a glimpse of her reaction, but I did not elaborate on it. Therefore, making the readers curious about her new personality. With these changes, it helped changed the ending of this story and develop Psyche's character.
Bibliography:
Golden Ass by Apuleius
I really liked that you broke the story into separate paragraphs because it was easy to follow and understand. However, I felt like the story started and ended abruptly. I did not really understand why the crime was taking place or why the sisters wanted to hurt Psyche. I also was confused how the husband was apart of this, so a little more background would make understanding easier for the reader. In your author's note, you said the story was more of a retell, but it might be easier for the readers to understand if you recreated the story in a different perspective, changed details, or took the plot and made a whole new story. After reading your author's note, I like that you made characterization changes and made Psyche more outspoken rather than obedient. I do really like the intensity of the story because I can tell there is suspense and envy!! I also admired your dialogue. I personally am not good at adding dialogue and that is one thing I would like to get better at.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story!! It flowed very well and gave me opportunities to reset and take in the details of each paragraph. The one flaw that really stood out to was the ending. It was a little abrupt but other than that it was great! The sisters were my favorite part of the story as they were causing problems and making things hectic. I love chaos in stories and that made the story that much better!
ReplyDeleteAvani, I really like the way you have organized your blog. It is very clean and visually draws me in. The description of the sisters and how terrible they are strangely made me think of what having sisters would be like. I really like when you changed the ending to make Psyche stronger in this depiction. I do think it makes the reader curious about what will happen next. I was a little confused at the beginning because you set the author's note at the end. What if you put the author's note at the beginning so the reader has a bit of context going in? Also, I was a little confused on the role of the husband. You mention that the sisters want to expose the husband to Psyche, but if they are married have they not already been exposed to each other? Maybe go into more detail about the husband and what that means to help clarify.
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